Meet Gerald, My Dying Pothos: A Definitive Guide to Naming Your Plants After People Who Did You Wrong
Somewhere between 'I'm fine' and 'I have seventeen plants named after people who ghosted me,' lies a deeply human coping mechanism that's equal parts petty and profound. Turns out, calling your droopy fern 'Chad' and whispering 'I knew you'd let me down' while it loses another frond is genuinely therapeutic. We talked to the people doing it, and honestly? We get it completely.